The following day, my common-law partner went to University and upon his return handed me a book he purchased at the bookstore, Fools Crow : Wisdom and Power by Thomas E. Mails. In that book, Chief Frank Fools Crow, describes Grandmother Earth as a big green light. He says all the Higher Powers are different coloured lights. This reminded me of the Buddhas. They are different colours and can appear as coloured lights. Buddha Tara is green like Grandmother Earth. I wondered if they were one and the same, just going by different names in a different culture?
Buddha Tara vowed to always emanate as a female to show that women are just as capable as men to make spiritual progress and become Buddhas. I have been blessed with a close connection to Buddha Tara. If Buddha Tara was Grandmother Earth I could understand more clearly why she had asked me to do this enormous task.
I tried a couple of times to connect with the Indigenous community through the University, but nothing came of it. I will admit I was afraid of this. To be White Buffalo Calf Woman was no small thing. It was too important and I was unsure that I was 'good enough' to do this. As nothing happened, I gave up on it, put it aside and got on with my life.
Some years went by and I was volunteering with the Environmental Film Network, when at one of the film events a Lakota woman attended. She came up and spoke with me after the film had ended. I don't know why she chose to speak me. As I walked home, I was hit with fact that I had not done more to fulfill the requests of Grandmother Earth or the Ancient One of the Inuit. Chief Fools Crow was Lakota and here out of the blue a Lakota woman had spoken with me. Could this have been another female emanation of Buddha Tara to get me back on track? I decided to see what I could find online.
I found a website for the Bluesky Community Healing Centre and read the blog of the woman, Cindy that ran the centre. I wondered if she might be able to help me, as she spoke about interacting with spirit. I gave her a call. I only told her that Grandmother Earth and the Ancient One of the Inuit had taken over my body and asked me to heal all of their people. I never mentioned anything about the White Buffalo. I asked if I could get some guidance, because I did not know how to fulfill thier requests. She told me to drop in anytime for tea and we could discuss things and maybe set up a pipe ceremony for me. I asked her to wait until my child had returned from University for the summer in a couple of weeks and she agreed. (My child had just started high school when those spirits had taken over my body.)
On the last Wednesday of April, my child and I took the bus across the city to the Bluesky Community Healing Centre. Upon arriving I reminded Cindy that I had called and dropped in for tea. She announced a pipe ceremony needed to be done right now. I was surprised and apologized that I did not have any tobacco to offer. She provided me with some tobacco to offer. A woman named Margaret and a man named Karl joined us for the ceremony. Margaret and Cindy were both pipe carriers.
As we sat in the circle, I told them my name and why I was there. I told them I had been taken over by spirit years ago and that Grandmother Earth had asked me to heal all of her people and the Ancient One of the Inuit had made the same request for her people. I did not know how to go about doing this and was in need of guidance. Once again, I did not mention anything about the White Buffalo.
The two women smoked their pipes. Margaret spoke first. She said she had started receiving messages before she smoked her pipe. She told me that I am of the Star People. I am very ancient and have had many lives. I was with the Creator - Gitchi Manitou - and helped to make the earth. The creator is with me all the time. Nanabijou - The Sleeping Giant - is awake and he is with me.
I will be well known among her people. I will write books about the ancient things and my child will draw pictures for them. (As we had only just walked in off the street and barely said hello before this ceremony was held, these people knew nothing about me or my child. My kid had just finished a paleontology course at university and was about to start a new course for art that fall at college. So there was no way Margaret could have known my kid was getting into art.)
Margaret went on to say that I will make a picture of Nanabijou holding his pipe. (As she was telling me this I had a vision of him standing in buckskin with a headress, holding a pipe.) She then said she wasn't sure if he was wearing a headress or not. She asked if I was a singer. I said I sing at home. She said I would sing songs that would be sung by her people and carried down through the generations.
She continued: The people of the North that I call Inuit know about me and are waiting for me. They will recognize me when I arrive.
She said I will write a book about Nanabijou's life. She said I have a pure spirit, that I am pure. She said she asked the spirits for my name, but they fell silent and that had never happened to her before. She said her pipe was vibrating and talking directly to my spirit and that had never happened before. She then told me I had been writing a book, but that I stopped writing it. Spirit wanted me to write that book. It would be popular among her poeple and used for generations to come. (I had actually started to write a book but I was angry when I was writing it. Angry about the state of the world and how the patriarchy had destroyed it. Angry about how people were behaving, living backwards to what was truly beneficial. In my mind at that time, I felt it was time for the women to bring healing to this world. I was flabbergasted that Margaret had known this. She couldn't have possibly known.)She told me a golden path or road lay before me, but not one of money. She said someone will help me. I have a helper coming. She said there is something about a tipi and 4 days. She said I need to keep a dream journal. I have many spirits around me.
Cindy spoke next. She said I am from the Caribou Clan, the same clan as her. She said she received my name, but fought with her ego over it, so she wasn't sure. She said spirit told her she had to tell me. She said my name was White Buffalo Calf Woman. (I burst into tears upon hearing that. I never mentioned anything about that. There was no way they could have known that. I sobbed at the great honour the people were giving me to allow me to serve them. It was such a gigantic thing. I could never repay their great kindness to me.)
Cindy asked if I had a connection to that name? I said yes and did not explain further. She then told me that it was my spiritual name now.
She said she would have another pipe ceremony with many more people so that I could find out more, but she never did.
Karl gave me 7 feathers he had brought.
Margaret later revealed that she had dreamed the night before I arrived that White Buffalo Calf Woman was going to come to her. She said she and Cindy had been discussing that dream and about White Buffalo Calf Woman that morning before I arrived.
Now What?